


A Monument to My Genius

by disco_judas



Category: Original Work
Genre: Start With This
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:56:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29565762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disco_judas/pseuds/disco_judas
Summary: five days, five body parts, 50 minutes total, lots and lots of weed
Kudos: 1





	A Monument to My Genius

Nipple

Is there any single body part as hotly contested and debated as the nipple? Most people have them. Most people have more than one. Nipples are an almost-universal body part, but if yours are deemed unpresentable then you had better cover them shits up with such vigor that no one could ever tell you’re a mammal. It doesn’t matter what gender you are, you probably have to deal with nipples being on your body. Lots of people get sexual enjoyment out of their nipples being touched and played with. Is that why nipples have been deemed so shameful? Because of their commonality as an erogenous zone? Pleasure has been deemed shameful by human society. Hah! And human people wonder why I don’t identify with the species. As far as I can see, nipples serve two purposes: granting the bearer pleasure when attention is paid to them (the nipples) and/or giving milk a place to come out when the nipple-haver is lactating. I’m not a doctor or even really much of anything beyond an amateur anatomist, but I’m pretty sure it’s possible for any person with nipple(s) to lactate. Humans are mammals, after all. That’s a defining feature of that classification, the whole “milk” thing. I don’t like pregnancy so I don’t think I’ll talk about that at all, but what I think I like even LESS than that is being compelled to hide the fact that I have nipples on my body. A cashier told me recently that my nipples were showing through my shirt, and that comment near haunted me, because...why do you care, cashier?! Do you have some investment in my anatomy I am not aware of? Are you turned on?!? That’s weird if so, but I can’t think of many other reasons a stranger would deem the shape my shirt was taking as it rested against my body worth commenting on. I don’t think nipples serve any purposes other than what I have described. If it was up to me, I probably wouldn’t have them, as I think lactation is fucking gross and I’m not into sex (think I might be one o’ them asexuals I heard so much about).

Penis

Penises are something I will never understand. I will never, and can never understand what it is to have one. Is it cool? Is it not? It might not be cool for some people to have one. Wait pause...yes, of course. If you ask some people about their “having-a-penis” opinions, you would certainly find them in the negative. I have not seen many of these organs in real life, and I have only touched one. It had a nice texture but that fact is that I do not enjoy semen at all, and that definitely comes with the cock territory, doesn’t it? I’m not a fan of most bodily fluids. Although I think the penis is good at doing what it’s designed to do, it will always look like a silly nose to me. The shafts of other species make so much sense when compared to those of the human race. Yeah I’ve played some questionable computer games in my day but that doesn’t change that fact that the design of the human donger leaver the bearer of said donger vulnerable to attack with such a weak point in the front. I like wearing accessories that make it feel like I have one. 

Vulva

There’s a reason Georgia O’Keefe did what she did. Blooming shapes are generally kind of nice to look at. Flowers are pretty, and the vulva kind of has a flower thing going on. I have one. As far as I have experienced different, um, here we go...vulvae? God, I don’t know. What was I saying? I’m high as shit right now. This vagina business...now, the vagina and vulva are two different things, are they now? The vagina is the inner goings-on and the vulva encompasses the whole deal? Y’all know that online store VulvaLoveLovely? I think it’s all one word. A lot of their products are fresh as hell but they kind of get me down a little bit with their “lady bits” and their “female times” aaaaa can we stop with this forever ok. Yes, I love my organs as they are and want to celebrate them in the form of cute plushies and beautiful jewelry but I can’t DO that if you’re giving me DYSPHORIA, KAREN! I shouldn’t say “Karen”, what if one of the artist’s names is Karen...Karen, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry. It was a meme. Anyway, the purpose of this exercise is for me to take ten whole minutes of my life going the hell off about a body part so here we go. The vulva? It’s pretty good. You can do sex stuff with it, fuckin’ tiny-ass humans can come out of it if the conditions are right. It’s incredible. You can do so much with it, cosmetically. Though I tried the “shave the hair into a cute shape” thing and just...I dunno, I just never got the hang of it.

Butt

The whole butt, including the anus. Given that I did the whole vulva, the whole entire penis, etc. With few exceptions, everyone’s got a butt. I like a good butt, but not to the point where it’s a fetish, I don’t think. And we all should take a second and appreciate having a functional, healthy anus. If that’s not the case for you, you must burn bay leaves in the name of Apollo, God of Medicine and of Healing. The butt is a dichotomy of business and pleasure, and for some depraved humans walking this pure planet, those are the same damn thing. Butts help us to sit, and to dance. A spank is an attack that is done to the butt, and some people just fuckin’...man, they just fuckin’ love to do it. They love to give a spank any time of the day or night, like it is literally their whole deal. Spanking porn is really weird but it might be the only kind I feel comfortable watching.

Lips

This one started out as “mouth” but upon consideration, I realized the mouth is in fact composed of many parts, and as this project said write about one body part at a time, I wanted to narrow it down to just the prettiest part of the mouth, the lips! Lips are one of the most sensitive body parts, this is why kissing feels nice, plus the lips can let us know how someone is feeling depending on what shape they (the lips) are taking. It’s good to take care of one’s lips. Left unattended and unbalmed, my own lips will peel and crack and bleed. It’s awful to look at, which is why I try to have at least two lip products on me at all times when I’m outside the house. Like nipples, almost everybody in the world has two lips. It’s something we all share. I’ve been curious about getting a lip piercing but that’s not allowed at my Starbucks job, so as long as I work for the ‘bux, no sick lip jewelry for me. Ah, well. I sometimes wonder if I’m ever going to kiss anyone again, or brush my lips along someone’s skin. I’d like to think so but...certain signs seem to point to “Negatory”.I guess lips help with the whole “eating food” thing, that’s pretty important. I have been trying to finish this piece for days and it is a colossal-seeming task right now, to write for ten minutes about a body part.


End file.
